We Live Such Exciting Lives

While Pitt keeps getting bomb threats and my roommates and I have turned into amateur detectives, Fayette County is taking care of the world's real problems--like trash in Perryopolis not getting picked up.

Don't get me wrong, that does suck pretty hard. And it's pretty gross, like a lot of other things in this county. But really? This is the worst of our newsworthy problems?

Want to know what other exciting shit is going down? Of course you do!

• The Mighty Yough is being sprayed for black flies. I'll probably be grateful for this come rafting season, but while they're at it, can they get rid of the pop cans, beer bottles, tires, shopping carts, and other random items floating around down there? I mean, I gaze into that muck and try to figure out exactly what I'm gazing at most of the time. And let's not forget we found a boat once.
• The county population fluctuates. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm gonna say that is because at one time, Fayette County actually didn't suck. It had pretty buildings, industry, a good economy, and rich people to prove it. The the coal and steel industries started sucking, so the whole county started sucking, and now Connellsville's literally falling apart and most of my friends have either already left (myself included) or are planning to in the near future.
• Connellsville High School is renovating. Meanwhile, Geibel just got new windows that I'm told should've been replaced like 20 years ago, but it's a start. Baby steps! One day there will be air conditioning and a heater that's turned on before November. Just kidding! Dream on, kids.

We'll have to do a crime round-up soon. Lots of people are getting hit by cars and killing people and setting stuff on fire.

On Geibel's Spring Auction

First of all, I was just looking at my stats. Who is getting here by Googling "fayettenam gangsta pics" and why are you Googling "fayettenam gangsta pics?" And why do you think Fayettenam gangstas exist? They don't. They think they do, but they don't.

Anyway, obviously Geibel is just like a black hole that keeps sucking you in, since I've gone back twice this month. Except it's a black hole that usually costs you money. Especially at the spring auction, but I have to admit, it was a pretty good auction.

• I did not find this out until maybe an hour ago when I was chatting with my roommates, but apparently in the very beginning they auctioned off a football signed by the Geibel football team for $450. Now, I could've sworn it was a signed Steelers football, but like I said, I wasn't paying attention so I just kind of assumed. I'm all for raising money and I paid a lot for some Larry Orlando calligraphy, but the calligraphy is gorgeous and the Geibel football team has historically been the Pittsburgh Pirates of high-school sports.

• Now that we have that out of the way, the auction was filled with awesome stuff, including lots of signed Pens and Steelers gear (signed Staal jersey went for $500, signed Crosby one for $700, signed Lemieux puck for $400), gift certificates, weekend trips, and gift baskets. My other winnings included four tickets to the Carnegie Museums, two Pittsburgh Public Theater tickets, a signed Mike Green hockey stick my brother wanted, a Kindle Fire for my dad, and a basket of lottery tickets for my mom. Pretty impressive for a Catholic school's auction.
• I am quickly becoming a cranky old person (yes, I'm 22--whatever). I haven't been inside the school in a year or so at least, and they have this new set of doors in the hallway that confused me. My reaction was, "What is this!?"
• At least most of the teachers are the same. In fact, they're better now because I'm not getting yelled at for not having my shirt tucked in or procrastinating on their homework.
• One of the art students made Nigel Thornberry. He wasn't for sale. I would've thrown down tons of cash for that.

• Apparently, the sangria was good. I didn't have any, surprisingly. Drinking in my high school is a little weird, even though I considered bidding on a champagne brunch with the teachers.
• I don't miss how unbearably hot that school gets. I don't miss how unbearably cold it gets, either, for that matter. I still hate whoever made the "no turning the heat on until November" rule.
• Auctions appeal to my sense of competition. I just wanted to win! To which my boyfriend said, "Oh God. Don't spend everything." He knows me so well.
• The 50/50 take was $800. I obviously didn't win.
• Mr. Bell's Brass Knuckles Band is actually quite good. I'd never heard them before except for the muffled sounds of "Unchained Melody" outside the State Theater one night. Len was still working there.
• I'm told that was the nicest Geibel auction in recent years.

And as further proof that Geibel is a black hole, two of my friends have subbed there and I'm planning on going back for prom's Grand March and probably graduation, even though I notoriously hate graduation ceremonies.

On Geibel's Cats

• The State Theater isn't the same without Len. I don't care if people disliked him. They only disliked him because they were afraid of him, and they were only afraid of him because Len takes theater super serious and high schoolers don't. High schoolers also don't appreciate his pompadour or amazing taste in button-down shirts. Sure, he could be mean, but only if you were rude or an idiot. Which means I was on his good side. He was actually quite funny and did crazy things like climb all over the balcony to adjust lighting. He also heckled the shows over the headset. In fact, the heckling was so inappropriate that Geibel student directors who were on headset with him were not allowed to repeat what they heard. I had the great fortune of working with him in a non-Geibel show and I can tell you the things said over the headset were amazing and hilarious. One day I'll share, but for now know that he was allegedly fired for drinking at work, which was probably a coping mechanism.
• The sound system is still terrible. Didn't they just get a new one and put in new massive dressing rooms? So why does it still cut out and sound bad? I blame the lack of Len for this. Len was on that shit.
• Who is responsible for allowing candy and drinks in the theater? I was one crinkly wrapper away from setting something on fire. 
• On that note, just because it's a high-school production does not mean you can be rude and talk the whole time and let your kids declare that they just farted. I know we're not good at high class and the arts, Fayette County, but come on! Also, when they say pictures aren't allowed, that means pictures aren't allowed, so don't be surprised when your flash distracts the entire mezzanine and gets you evil glares.
• Cats was good. Most of the people who say that it wasn't hated Cats to begin with. I am not one of those people. In fact, this is me when I watch Cats:

• Some of the songs were too high and the dancers weren't always in synch. But I enjoyed it and didn't spend the whole show thinking, "PLEASE GOD LET IT END" or "DID YOUR PARENTS PAY OFF THE ENTIRE ADMINISTRATION FOR YOU TO GET THIS PART!?" I'm looking at you, Connellsville. I will never let Bye, Bye Birdie go. Never.
• While we're talking about Connellsville musicals, one of my coworkers who went there in their musical heyday admits it's gotten bad. Anyone remember Titanic? 
• That choreography doesn't fool me. I've seen the DVD like 100 times and I happen to know most of those steps were recycled. This is only forgivable because they're good and really, how many cat-like dance steps are there?

Stay tuned, because next we're going to talk about the Geibel auction and how I creep on Neubauer's on Facebook to see their gorgeous flowers and Fayette County teenagers' questionable prom dresses.

Fine Dining: The Grotto

First, a story.

I spent my 21st birthday on the Mighty Yough. The river was low thanks to a lack of rain, but we didn't realize just how long it would take us to float to Dawson. We set out in the early afternoon. Within a few hours, we were starving. I did get thrown a beer by a guy fishing in Dawson, but by then it was early evening and our options for restaurants that served both food and alcohol and would give me alcohol while accompanied by a few minors were limited. Plus we had to make it there before the kitchen closed. This led us to The Grotto, which was new at the time. It took the place of Garfield's at the mall. High. Class.

I got a pina colada, which was strong. I've since discovered they make all their drinks strong, but the mango daiquiri is the best so far.

The food is also always really good. They have great spinach dip that comes in a bread bowl, so when you run out of pitas, you can use the bread. Unless, of course, you are me and have a serious problem with soggy bread.

Truth be told, I can't say too much about their food because for one, I'm a vegetarian. And then I have this habit of saying, "I should try something new" and ordering pasta. But hey, it's good pasta!

I know that people really like their burgers.

I've never seen them super busy, like any moderately priced place in the county. Except Applebee's. Applebee's draws a crowd. I think that maybe the Boston Beanery or Rosa Pizza get the most business. So I have no idea why they were so incredibly slow the night of Geibel's musical, other than the universe wants me to be late for everything ever and we decided every other place would be slow or packed. Seriously, Eat 'N' Park is a joke some nights. Anyway, it took us 45 minutes to get our food, which did not include our dip that we were still charged for. Don't worry--we asked for it in a take-out box. But still, what's the deal, Grotto?

Aside from that, it's a pretty good place to go. It's a good middle ground between casual and nice.

I still need to check out the new hibachi place, also in the mall, and the Vietnamese place, not in the mall but down the road from our lone gay bar.

Oh, hey, you should also like my Facebook page. My dad just did, and I'm not even Facebook friends with him.

 

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone's enjoying their candy from Colebrook and Redstone!

Speaking of Colebrook, I stopped in last weekend and first cleaned out their Cats-themed chocolate for Geibel's musical and then stared at all the other candy. And met the Easter Bunny!

They have everything. Chocolate covered everything, fruit-flavored things, themed things, including lots of green and white for Geibel kids. I've been eating their peach rings all day, plus some chocolate-covered pretzels. I haven't made it to the chocolate bunny or large peanut-butter melt away egg yet. We'll see how my boyfriend likes his chocolate-covered brazil nuts.

Colebrook, unfortunately, is not paying me.

Rob Hensley "On the Set"

Rob Hensley, writer of Leo's Love Story and Death, Life, and a Creme-Filled Center, recently went on "On the Set with Jasper Cole" to talk about his many projects and naturally, Fayette County was bound to come up.

Here's one we can all identify with: sneaking in to the drive-in. I've done my fair share of lying motionless under blankets in the back of a van. I've even helped friends climb into the trunk. And by the way, drive-ins are dying out and Fayette County is lucky enough to have to that both show double features. Sometimes, you get lucky and those features are actually in the same genre. Bridesmaids and The Hangover 2 was a winner. Plus sometimes you find drugs but we'll talk about that later. Sometimes you also get yelled at for "disturbing other customers" when it's 1 AM and no one else stayed to watch 300.


Check out Rob's chatting below. It's kind of long, but it's funny and Rob discusses Leo's Love Story a little more in depth. I swear I'll read it some day.

Patch Hunky's Got a Point

First of all, this is super old news. I fell way, embarrassingly behind on my blog reading when I spent almost three hours of my day commuting to and from work.

In January 2011, a 15-month-old girl died in Point Marion. CYS got some criticism, and Zapotosky vowed to find out what went wrong and hold the responsible parties accountable. That's all well and good.

And then a four-year-old boy died in Springhill Township, and the issue is the same--multiple reports of abuse were filed with CYS, who did nothing. So the Patch Hunky called out CYS and Zapotoksy--but mostly Zapotosky--for it, and rightfully so.

Zapotosky told the Tribune Review, "When you bury two children in less than 12 months, it's not a number. It's a crisis."

Yeah, it is.

He blamed budget cuts on CYS failures, and I'm sure CYS has a lot going on, but how can you get reports of abuse and completely fail to do anything when your job is to do something? Unfortunately, as tragic as the deaths of children are, they're not surprising here anymore. Neither is the abuse or the fact that CYS is swamped. At the same time, though, the Patch Hunky points out that the commissioners can appoint as many CYS staffers as they need, and I'm guessing we need a lot.

Perhaps worst of all, though, is that this speaks to a larger problem. Sure, we can and probably should hold Zapotosky and CYS responsible to a degree, but what about the parents? Obviously, the cases of these two children and others will be investigated and charges pressed where appropriate, but the fact that two children died where abuse had been reported previously within nine months of each other shows that Fayette County has a real problem with child abuse. Maybe someone should be looking at how, if at all, that could be examined and stopped.

What's the remedy? How far does it go? Any factor could be considered here, the most glaring being cycles of abuse. If people report what they see and hear and speak out against it, assuming CYS can and does act, maybe children can be removed from abusive homes, helped, and the cycle stopped. Or maybe parents can be given resources and help with being good, non-abusive parents. Maybe the problem is people becoming parents before they're ready for whatever reason. Maybe the problem is the high poverty here.

Something has to be done somewhere, and maybe the beginning is in Fayette County homes.