If It's Broke: Update

I'm told that the infamous telephone pole is still standing, just with some caution tape around it. I'm also told New Haven is such a big deal because it's the only paid fire company in Connellsville.

And let's be honest--Connesllville can't afford to repair or demolish buildings, and even though a telephone pole should cost much less money, they probably can't afford to replace it, either.

Fayette County, I'd ask you never to change, but I already know from experience you won't anyway.

Fine Dining: Italian Oven

You know, I don't actually know how widespread Italian Oven is. Uniontown used to have one, and even though Uniontown is king when it comes to restaurants in the Nam, it's gone now. The chain itself has no official site, but individual restaurants/areas do. Connellsville's is on Angelfire. Fayette County, you are a time warp.

Italian Oven is like a smaller, not quite as good version of Olive Garden. Uniontown is allegedly getting an Olive Garden, but that rumor's been circulating for at least 10 years. I'll believe it when I'm devouring the breadsticks.

Normally, I might not focus too much on a chain because usually the rest of the world knows about them before Fayette County does. But Italian Oven is notable because it's basically the only place to go in Connellsville for a nicer meal. Everything else is mainly bars and fast food. I thought maybe I was forgetting something, but when three other people were asked for input on where to eat in Connellsville, no one else could think of an alternative.

The food is good. Typical Italian. They do breads and salads very well, and you have crayons to color on the paper tablecloths. They have big glass windows up so you can see into the kitchens, and when I was little, having the cooks trace my hand in neon and write my name under it was the coolest thing ever. It was probably still the coolest thing ever when I was in high school, too, because where else are you gonna eat after the Christmas dance?

It's good, but unless you'd prefer to eat in Connellsville, you're better off trekking into Uniontown for Meloni's or Pasta Lorenzo, or even The Grotto if you're up for a long wait.

On Making Fun

Interesting conversations happen when you get a few Nam natives on the South Side after a couple of drinks. If this were a Pittsburgh blog, I might tell you how great the Batman shot at Pregames is or how amazing Bar 11 is with its black lights, highlighters, and toys, but this is a Fayette County blog. I'm going to tell you about what happens when you give those natives those Batman shots.

We start feeling pretty good and we start talking about home. Like I often say, this place is easy to make fun of no matter where you're from, but it's still where we came from. That does have its pros and cons.

Sure, this place is a mess with a ton of problems, and it's not a place where many of my friends have stayed in beyond college. Fayette County has nothing to offer us, but that doesn't mean we're above it. Allegheny and Westmoreland counties might have bragging rights on that one, but if you're from Fayette County, you can hate it all you want but you are still one of us. You'll score points for being employed, sober, and nonviolent, but this is where you came from and you can't deny that. Everyone has a little bit of Fayette County in them whether they like it or not.

As much as many of us want to get out, our parents stayed here for a reason. Fayette County wasn't always a joke, and even when our parents were our age, it wasn't terrible. In the right areas, it also wasn't a terrible place to grow up. I may have horror stories about what happened in some of my schools, but I was able to (for the most part) play outside and walk down the street to the store and have a good time.

Making fun is okay, but just remember where you came from, Fayettenamese. You're never too good for your home.

Something to Think About

As easy it is to make fun of Fayette County, a lot of what's wrong with it are really just symptoms of lots of underlying problems. Everyone knows one of those problems is kids in school, whether they're acting out or aren't performing well.

I've heard plenty of horror stories, and I'm sure every person who's ever read this blog could add at least one. The worst part is the horror stories are more often about the parents, not the kids. Parents tell their kids to intentionally fail special education tests because they'll get more welfare money. Parents don't take their kids to school or pick them up because they're already drunk or high or just won't get out of bed. Kids who get some of their best or only meals from school lunches. Pregnant teenagers, some as young as twelve. Kids who are found to be physically or sexually abused.

A Washington high school has tried a new approach to dealing with troubled kids. When there's a problem with a student, the teachers ask what's wrong and what might have prompted the outbursts, and the results have been ridiculously positive.

A lot of people (like my dad) might say that this is babying the kids, not disciplining them, and that they won't learn anything and it's all this new hippy liberal crap that's right up there with putting a stop to bullying. On the surface, maybe it seems like all of those things. But it's working, and it acknowledges the fact that a lot of these kids have severe problems at home--it's actually called toxic stress, and it damages kids' brains to the point they cannot learn.

When these kids do act out, they still face consequences in the form of in-school suspension. Sending them home is either more like a vacation or just keeps them in a toxic environment that's causing their problems to begin with. The most compelling reason to consider this approach, though, is the numbers.

2009-2010 (Before new approach)

• 798 suspensions (days students were out of school)
• 50 expulsions
• 600 written referrals

2010-2011 (After new approach)

• 135 suspensions (days students were out of school)
• 30 expulsions
• 320 written referrals

Unreal.

There's a whole lot that goes into this, too, from the way students and teachers interact in difficult situations to the way they gauge how bad a student's toxic stress is, not to mention the effects of that stress on health. Plus the kids like it and recognize how much they've benefitted from it.

Why not try this at some of Fayette County's more problematic schools?

Nerds

Today, a friend of mine witnessed what is probably one of the greatest things ever seen in Fayette County.

Unfortunately, this is a screen cap from a video the passenger in her car managed to take and it is the best and so far only image of this man in existence. What is he wearing, you ask? A Nerds candy box.

While we don't know why he was wearing it, we do know where he got it because another friend's sister and her daughter witnessed him acquire it--in the Dairy Queen drive-through behind him. The employees were about to throw it out, but he wanted it. I guess so he could wear it along Crawford Avenue.

The full video depicts him very briefly on the street, and after we lose sight of him, he starts dancing. Also, I don't even know if that link will work because I believe the profile is private. Bummer.

Springsteen

Most important business first--Colebrook is now serving ice cream, and Vinny's is open. I had my first strawberry shortcake sundae of the season on...Sunday. I think from now on I'm branching out and starting a quest to try every vegetarian item on the menu.

Straight from Facebook from a girl I went to high school with, I give you this:

First, that's better than the reactions I usually get to my unique Uniontown stories. Pro tip: People are more inclined to believe ridiculous stories when you clarify that they happened in the Nam. Where else are you going to find drunk guys passed out in ditches wearing just boxers and cowboy boots?

Someone gets Springsteen here immediately. Better yet, commission him to do a "So UT" cover.

Oh, Brownsville

First, Donate to the arts! Rob only has eight days left to raise over $1,000, and I know there's enough of you reading right now to make that happen. Also, I'm guessing Fayette Friends of Animals still needs canned dog and cat food. Even if they don't technically need it anymore, they're not exactly going to turn it down.

So, a mom is suing Brownsville School District for punishing her daughter for refusing to recite the pledge of allegiance.

I'm conflicted. On the one hand, suing might be a little extreme. On the other hand, it sounds like that's the only way these ladies are going to get the school district to listen. Because really, why does a kid need to be punished for this? She's not acting out, and she's will within her rights. I mean, lunch detention and in-school suspension for not reciting the pledge? Really? I'm actually impressed that a 13-year-old is paying attention to politics and is finding her own ways to peacefully express her opinions. When I was 13, I was a raging bitch. Not even my dad's deployments made me very aware until a few years later.

Two years ago, a Brownsville teacher was suspended after a picture of her with a stripper at a bachelorette party popped up on Facebook. While that's a bigger deal and understandably a potential problem, Brownsville does seem to have its conduct standards. They just went a little too far this time.

About that teacher, though: I realize that teachers are important and they're role models and need to behave accordingly, but since when did we start expecting our teachers to be Jesus? If they're good teachers and their conduct with students and colleagues is appropriate, why should their personal lives be our business? Would a male teacher have ben reprimanded the same way? Why does nudity freak people out so much? Why do we pretend that no one goes to strip clubs? Teachers have done worse, which around here means stories of teachers previously or currently abusing drugs. I hope this all took place at Gloria's.