The Nam on Facebook: Yard Sales

The internet is a different beast than what it was when I first logged on using dial-up on a Dell with Windows 95. Back then, using your real name was frowned upon at all, now you can get away with it if you're not a terrible person. Back then, overshare could get you murdered, now it just annoys everyone you know. But I don't think the internet's changed enough to make this a smart decision:

Here's to a summer full of cool and bizarre items we paid for after creeping through someone else's stuff! Anyone else up for a tour of the county's flea markets?

Keg Stand Ends in Stabbing

Two brothers were stabbed at a party after a woman wanted to do a keg stand.

The party does sound like the best ever: the brothers got there via ATV, there was a fire pit, it was in Dunbar. This whole thing feels like a mystery story to me. Who stabbed whom? Why? Was it the woman's jealous boyfriend, who got angry after one or both brothers handled her for her keg stand?

Nope. She wanted to do a second one and one of the brothers objected.

A minor fight broke out when an unidentified man told Travis Burnsworth that Huffine “could do whatever the (expletive) she wanted to,” according to the complaint.

This whole thing sounds like chaos. Someone lost a wedding ring, people tried to find it, the woman claimed she was punched in the face in the process. The brothers were stabbed when they confronted the alleged puncher.

Boyer told police the Burnsworth brothers were arguing with his brother, Josiah Boyer, when he intervened.

Elijah Boyer told police he threatened to stab the Burnsworths if they harmed his brother and the two were backing away when “four or five men began to punch him in the head and face.”

Elijah Boyer told police he then pulled out the knife “and started swinging it at the males,” according to the complaint. He fled into a wooded area and left in a van. Most of the other partygoers fled when Cody Fisher fired a pistol into the woods, according to the complaint.

Just...what the hell?

P.S.: Any article that cites Urban Dictionary to define "keg stand" is the best ever. Ever.

Open Your Arms for Another Native Blogger!

First of all, no, I'm not dead. I was just on vacation in South Carolina with my boyfriend's family for his brother's graduation from the Marines, so you vets out there, how about an ooh-rah for him? While on vacation, I also got a stomach virus. So did aforementioned boyfriend, brother, and both of their sisters. In fact, I'm still not 100% healthy. I'll spare you the tales of gross bodily functions, but they've all ended and have been replaced by what I can only describe as a likely confused tummy that says, "What? This isn't saltines and water!" every time I eat.

We've established before that the Nam spawns good writers (that often leave). The latest is Kaylie and her blog, The Road to Domestication. Kaylie and I met in college, when I first started this blog. Hers is not strictly a Nam blog, but like we've also established before, you can't really escape this place and it tends to creep up in the blogs of ex-pats, plus I'm sure that road to domestication includes some handy tips as learned from a childhood here. An added bonus? More reading material when I am on vacation or sick or both at the same time. On that note, what have I missed?

The Nam on Twitter: It's a New Month

So glad I don't have to see the dirty bums of Fayettenam tomorrow at work.
— mary-kate (@ktd71589) April 26, 2013

Now, I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure this is directly related to the chaos you encounter if you go anywhere in the Nam at the beginning of the month, especially if it's a weekend.

Fine Dining: 30 East Main

I used to love the original incarnation of 30 East Main when it opened years ago and had really neat decorating with things like theater posters everywhere, like it was catering to the State Theatre-going crowd. The food was excellent, and it was one of Uniontown's nicest places. And then it closed. And then it reopened. And then it closed again because it wasn't good enough. And now it's reopened again and has been for a while, and I've been wanting to go back for a while, so I finally did it Friday night with my boyfriend.

And I was quite disappointed.

The new atmosphere is lovely and a bit more stripped down but still pretty. The goal is a tavern inspired by Fayette County's history, and it does pretty well in that. Everything looks lovely, and the space is set up wonderfully for the occasional live music they have on weekends.

Drinks are good. I got a pretty strong Long Island iced tea. As an appetizer, my boyfriend ordered egg rolls, which were actually really good, which leads me to believe appetizers and drinks are where 30 East Main's true strengths lie (well, that and the tasty cinnamon bread). Because when we got our entrees, we thought they were good but not impressive and certainly not up to the quality of food 30 East Main offered originally.

I had baked spaghetti, which was good but didn't have a whole lot of flavor. My boyfriend had a pulled pork sandwich, and he felt the same way--good, but not impressive, especially considering the restaurant's reputation and price, which is especially interesting since they consider themselves an "everyman's" restaurant. This is true in terms on menu items only, but not price. We both felt that for the quality of food we got, we would've been better to go somewhere else that does the same food or similar cheaper. And I should mention that I almost never complain about a meal. I only dislike two establishments in the Nam--Denny's and Golden Corral. 30 East Main is definitely better than them both, but if you're after excellent sandwiches, you're better off going to a place like Potter's, and if you're after excellent pasta, you're better off going to Meloni's. If something a little nicer is what you're after, then you're gonna want Caileigh's or Caporella's. You could do better than 30 East Main, and 30 East Main can--and definitely used to--do better for you.

Toddler Wanders Away While Dad Is Passed Out Drunk

It's been a while since we had a story like this.

Neighbors in Uniontown said they are appalled after a 2-year-old girl was found wandering Montview Street because, police said, her father was drunk.

Let's stop right there. "Appalled" is certainly a proper reaction, but seriously, you can't tell me that people don't partially expect these things.

Also, I know it's hard to wrangle toddlers, but surely there are ways to prevent your child from wandering out of your house even if you do pass out drunk. Like, you know, closing and locking your doors. Or--call me crazy!--not passing our drunk when you're supposed to be watching your kid. Or not passing out drunk at all anytime children are involved or around ever.

My dad always says, mostly when discussing my childhood, that babies don't come with manuals, but they definitely should. Sure, "Don't pass out drunk while watching your toddler" should be so obvious that it shouldn't need explicitly stated, but if there's one lesson I've learned in my life, it's that some people are astoundingly stupid and completely miss the obvious.

Any suggestions for The Fayette County Parenting Manual?

The Nam in the News: Alcoholism

A study of Pennsylvania's heaviest-drinking counties has been released, and surprise! We're on it. But don't get too discouraged--we're only #31. The winner is actually Elk County, with 26% drinking excessively.

The real question is, is the county a mess because of heavy drinking or are we all drinking heavily because the county is a mess? The only thing I know for sure is that no matter how drunk you are, the Laurel Mall move-theater seats are still gross and still make you uneasy.