The Nam on Tumblr: Melody Motor Lodge

My friends and I used to joke about renting a room at the Melody Motor Lodge and the sorts of frightening things that might be in it. Apparently, the motel houses this gem.

By Tumblr user cykling2013.

Football Losses and Bullying

Well, it's good to know that there's a football team in this country that actually lost worse than Geibel's 81-0. A Texas team lost 91-0...and then a parent filed a bullying complaint against the winning coach. Geibel, take heed! You could probably file a complaint against Mark Madden, too!

I really don't see a good case for calling this bullying--and trust me, I'm quite anti-bullying. It was a horrible, horrible loss, sure, and it brings up similar issues addressed with that infamous Geibel game regarding both coaches and the teams, but I wouldn't call a win bullying.

Meanwhile, the rumor mill is churning out that Geibel's last home game of the season was canceled, effectively also canceling senior day, but I have no confirmation or explanation of this beyond some angry alumni tweets. Like, "ashamed to be a Geibel Gator" angry. Now, the canceled game certainly does suck if it's true and Geibel actually has a good reputation and I have mostly good memories from my time there, but when ranking shameful things about the school, a canceled football game would be at the very bottom of the list.

The Nam on Twitter: HeraldStandard.com Errors

There's a misprint in the Herald Standard. "NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt Jr tours Greene County mine" He is hardly a legend

— Aaron Carolla (@ajcarolla21) October 13, 2013

Well, the paper does get its fair share of criticism.

Our New Claim to Fame: Bear Poaching

A Smithfield man just might be the first person in Pennsylvania history to be convicted be a jury of poaching a black bear. Great job!

“As far as we know, this is the first poaching case ever to go to jury trial,” said Travis Lau, a spokesman for the Pennsylvania Game Commission.

It's the first time the DA has seen a poaching case even go to trial, because apparently, most hunters plead guilty.

“Most hunters are so embarrassed by the fact they illegally harvested big game, they simply don't go to trial,” Grimm said.

The man shot the bear when it wandered into his garden, unlike my grandfather, who I'm told used to roll visiting bears apples. Then another man called the game commission after the poacher kept bragging and showing off picture of the dead bear on his phone. Because pics or it didn't happen.

But wait, there's more! Meaning this is my new favorite Fayette County news story of 2013.

“Immediately after beginning my search of Swaney's backyard, I located two marijuana plants in a plastic container, as well as hair and paws from a black bear,” Bonin wrote in the complaint. “At that time, Swaney confessed to killing a black bear ... and also to growing the marijuana.”

Bonin found the bear's head in a stream near Swaney's house, according to court records. The bear carcass was recovered from a friend's freezer.

This dude just sounds like a bear serial killer. Bears of the Nam, beware!

He says he shot it because it was threatening kids getting off a school bus, but no one else complained. The man also tried to say the bear had an old arrow wound and the meat was no good, yet he still cut it up and put it in his freezer. Meaning either he was wrong or I'm right and he's a serial killer.

The man will be sentenced Wednesday morning. The marijuana charges were dropped as part of a plea offer, which included fines and this serial killer to lose his hunting license for five years. Now, call me crazy, but I can't see taking a hunting license away from a man who illegally shot a bear as a very effective punishment, though for some around here, it's probably worse than jail time.

Moment of silence for all the dead bears out there, including Rupert, who resides in my cousins' house.

Also, shout-out to my mom, who--spoiler alert--was offended by the movie Brave after I suggested she watch it.

Uniontown High School Announces Distinguished Alumni

Like I always say, don't ever say we don't produce good things and good people. Granted, the problem is they all leave this mess behind them, but whatever.

Uniontown High School has announced a Hall of Fame for distinguished alumni, which they plan to update annually. The list includes those in athletics, academics, and the arts.

You may not recognize some of the names, but you'll recognize their achievements--there's a woman who helped prototype the first anti-lock-brake system, a chief of cardio-thracic surgery at UPMC, numerous musicians, and plenty of athletes.

Pretty neat stuff, and some good news to keep in mind.

When the Nam Can't Watch the Pirates

Oh, the beauty of this rare Pirates winning season and what I can only assume was a slow news day and excuse to find some crazy rednecks to put on TV: WTAE ran a segment on Fayettenamese being unable to watch Pirate games on TV because local cable providers don't have the station.

Don't get me wrong, not having access to watch your team play certainly sucks, but why is it news? Why is anyone going to Dino's ever news? Seriously, did someone just get word of this and decide to run with it because of the possibility of bizarre, quotable people? If I'm right on that, they went to all the wrong bars. You need the dives to deliver on that.

Ferry Options

Did you know there's a ferry in the Nam? Neither did I. And that might be because it's just sitting idly in the Mon and no one talks about nice, cool things around here. I try, but y'all are more interested in crime. Can't blame you, though.

Anyway, the commissioners are trying to decide what to do with it. I'll spare you the long musings and get straight to the point: get this shit running!

Or, you know, I'll hop in a raft on the Yough next summer and ferry people myself and sneak you alcohol and stuff and you can pay me in Bud's pizza...or more alcohol.

Where the Duck in Pittsburgh Really Belongs

Photo by Jason Cohn

I'm a big fan of the giant rubber duck currently floating in Pittsburgh. Most people on social media are, too, except for a few Negative Nancies who say they're tired of pictures, it's not news, or they don't care. It's a 40-foot rubber duck! Like it or not, it's certainly not normal, therefore making it news- and photo-worthy.

But what if the duck visited the Mighty Yough?

I'm sure then the naysayers would settle. I mean, think about it. Sure, it would probably be vandalized almost immediately or used as a jumping-off point into the river or would be damaged by river debris and rocks. But think of the joy it could bring to places like Connellsville or the Adelaide campground!