Man arrested for masturbating in chip aisle at Sheetz

Guys, I'm so, so behind. Life got busy, and I'm working to catch up. Note to self: we need to talk about Facebook posts about real-estate and Brownsville, the local guy who sort of upstaged Idina Menzel in Pittsburgh, and Cait Cuneo/Violet Rose's new video. And pictures from the fair. And maybe pictures from Beatlemania tonight at Penn State. 7 p.m. I'll be there.

So I know this is old news, but guys, we need to talk about the masturbator in Uniontown's Sheetz.

I mean, it's pretty self-explanatory.

Initially, he was acting suspicious and employees thought he was trying to shoplift. Until they noticed he had his dick out. And he still had it out when the cops showed up.

“A lot of people anymore do have mental health problems and you have to ask yourself why you are out at two o’clock in the morning exposing yourself in a public place?” Siple said.

Look, I do believe that mental illness is a factor in Fayette County's numerous problems, only made worse by stigma against it and difficulty in finding affordable care. But I'm not convinced one masturbates in the chip aisle at Sheetz because of mental illness. Sounds to me it was more like a perv who was aware of what he was doing, especially considering he's since very unconvincingly argued he was "adjusting" himself. Oh, okay. Sure. Because, you know, the security video from the store that cops viewed completely corroborates that, too.

Siple did make some other observations on the county, though, for which he wins an award for Understatement of the Year.

“I think it’s horrible. Unfortunately, it’s sad and a lot of this has been going on lately. Fayette County has been in the news quite a bit and it hasn’t been for good reasons."

No shit.

I mean, I try to post about good things on this blog, but y'all got to give me something to work with!