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Apparently, we're "so gangster." Why?

If there wasn't a very strong chance my Beagle was asleep at that time, I'd say he'd be the main suspect.

Hot Diggity Dogs

Yesterday's post about the homeless man sexually propositioning women took place on Beeson Boulevard in Uniontown, and I was reminded of another interesting incident along Beeson. What happened? A woman threw a hot dog in an argument with an employee. I wish I could find the original article from the Herald-Standard, because it was one of the most entertaining articles I've ever read, thanks to the writer's decision to use every possible word for "hot dog."

The good news is that Beeson isn't always chaotic. I get my hair cut at Shear Symmetry, and Obama's campaign office during the election was along Beeson. It was also the most colorfully decorated building along Beeson, and I'd love to post a picture of it but I've discovered that no one in Fayette County seems to take pictures of anything. Ever.

Full Story of Homeless Man

The Herald-Standard posted the full article about the homeless man shouting sexual propositions at women at a bus stop. Unfortunately, there's not much more to it than that. But it's enough for Mikey and Bob - they've declared it "the first great Fayette County story of 2011." Another downside: no audio from them on this one. But they make up for it with this:

Breaking News!

According to Herald-Standard crime reporter Josh Krysak's Twitter, a homeless man was cited earlier today for shouting sexual propositions at women at a bus stop. The news story itself is developing. And don't worry, Josh let Mikey know. Mikey, about an hour later, said that Fayette County hasn't had any good stories yet in 2011, which would explain why we haven't had a new one on the Morning Freak Show in a while.

Since this took place at a bus stop, that means they were waiting for the glorious FACT bus.

Speaking of sexual propositions, the well-known Gallatin Avenue prositutes in Uniontown are probably still doing pretty well. I know that nod and question of, "How are you doing?" as they stand on the sidewalk, thanks to the fact that they weren't afraid to try to make customers of our dads picking us up and carpooling us from dance class when I was little. And they inspired that No Ho Zone sign mentioned on Kiss.

The Truck Strikes Again

Someone tipped Mikey and Bob from Kiss off about Fayette County's very own truck, which I mentioned before when it made an appearance at Divito Park with Bill Clinton. Why didn't I think of telling them?


I'm jealous. They got to see it in action. It was just sitting idly in a parking lot when I saw it.

What's it for? Why do we need it? Is there more than one? If so, are any for sale? Can those pictures be considered false advertising? These are questions I need answered.

The Church of Universal Love and Music

Oh man, I haven't had a post about drugs in so long.

First, thanks to Justin for sending me the most recent article about the Church of Universal Love and Music (read the Mission Statement, seriously). Things have been pretty quiet regarding the Church lately, so I'm pretty excited.

Fayette-Nam's place for what I imagine are our very few hippies, the Church calls itself "a nondenominational, interfaith based church, committed to the spiritual and mental growth of each individual by uniting the body, mind, and spirit." How do they accomplish this? Concerts, mainly. Oh yeah, and drugs. I've heard stories of pork chops being cooked and handed out at the entrance, so I wanted to go to see it for myself. Thanks to a raid in August 2009, I may never have that chance.

Two trailers full of pot, hash brownies, hallucinogenic mushrooms, acid, and laughing gas. Twenty-two arrests. Countless unhappy hippies that have no church.

All confiscated.

It got a very large front-page feature in the paper.

The founder and owner is sueing the county, saying the raid violated the "good faith" of a settlement that allowed him to hold the concerts in the first place. The county wants him to drop it. He also sued in the past, saying the zoning restrictions that prevented him from having the concerts violated his religious freedom.

Poor Church. They were only having a good time and growing spiritually.

Uniontown Hospital Strikes Again

As a Fayette County resident whose nearest hospital is Uniontown's, these stories are no longer surprising.


A five-month-old boy was given an adult dose of antibiotics meant for another patient.

Oh, really?

Fortunately, the baby is okay. Given Uniontown Hospital's history, which I've mentioned before, the situation could've been much worse. The boy's mother said she will file a complaint with the Pennsylvania Department of Health, but I'm not sure what good it'll do at this point. I'd love to check out the hospital's malpractice insurance.

After the stories I hear - including ones that don't make the news - I'm at a point where if given the choice between death and Uniontown Hospital, I'd take death.

More from KissFM

I mentioned before the news stories about a woman who smeared a dirty diaper on a car at the Fayette County fair and the man who hid drugs in his kid's Elmo backpack. The thing is, I never thought to check KissFM's website for commentary on either story from Mikey and Big Bob until just now, for some reason. And sure enough, here's their take on the dirty diaper story and the Elmo backpack.

At least we're entertaining, right?

And Kiss has many more wonderful FayetteNam things to listen to. Uniontown's very own alleged pregnant man. Tiger sighting. Ass-kicking granny. No Ho Zone sign. Indecent exposure fines. And then a naked robber. And a very nice Fayette County check-in. Unfortunately nothing too recent that I haven't already posted, but I'll keep listening. We're bound to be featured again sooner or later.

Stand tall and stand proud, Fayette County.

Coffee Shops in the Nam: A History

When I was in elementary school, I started spending a lot of time - accompanied by my dad, of course - in a little coffee shop in Connellsville called Coffee on Crawford. Along with my brother, we were regulars. My brother and I probably drank hot chocolate. I do remember ice cream and cookies. Coffee on Crawford was mellow and quiet, with interesting art, couches, and a pool table. I loved it, and if it would've survived until I discovered the beauty of black tea I'd still be there all the time. But it went out of business. I always say it was ahead of its time.

At some point after that, there was a coffee shop in Scottdale. But Scottdale, as its residents always love to remind us, is in Westmoreland County, so it doesn't count. But it did have the same fate as Coffee on Crawford.

Dawson, however, is all ours and does count. Dawson gave us Cafe Noswad, which still has merchandise online despite the fact that they too went out of business.

Some coffee shops used to lurk in Uniontown. One on Main Street was great, then went out of business. I think a new one moved in. A cafe with wireless internet seems to be doing well, as well as a tea room somewhere in town. The problem with cafes and tea rooms here is that often, despite being called cafes and tea rooms, they are neither. I once went into a Connellsville cafe with high hopes of getting a hot caffeinated drink but the place was really a diner. And went out of business. It's a Mexican restaurant now.

While independently owned businesses struggle, chains do just fine. We love chains. Uniontown's Panera Bread has been around for a few years and is still going strong, as far as I can tell, and I've mentioned that we do have a Starbucks inside our Target. I've witnessed disasters there.

I envy you, Westmoreland County, with your multiple Starbucks locations and your fancy drive-thrus and your places like DV8.

Texts from Pechins

The stories I hear from Pechins make me glad I've made it this far in life without having to work retail, although this story isn't bad. It is over two months old, but it's a text I've had saved because I enjoy it so much and it probably says a lot about the area.

While this friend of mine was working, a family was nearby with two young girls, who were bickering and fighting in the middle of the store. Their mother turned to them and said, "If you two don't stop, I swear I will tie you to the roof like a prized deer and you will ride home like that."

Not just any deer - a prized deer.

Unfortunately, I don't know if her threat worked or not. I never thought to ask.

For Valentine's Day

Usually when Fayette County gets attention from the Pittsburgh news stations, it's not for any of our finer moments. But this time, it's actually pretty nice - WTAE ran a segment on Connellsville's DeMuth florist, which has been around since 1865 and is the fifth oldest florist in the country. Pretty neat, not to mention just in time for Valentine's Day.

If you're interested in DeMuth or are in the Nam and need some flowers for your significant other, you can check them out here.

The FACT Bus

Here's something you may not know unless you're from Fayette County or are around regularly - we actually do have public transportation. It's called the FACT Bus.

Most of them are pretty boring.



Really, that's how they started. But within the past few years, they've been getting fancier.



That's not the only vehicular display of Fayette County pride. We also have trucks, as seen when Bill Clinton came to Divito Park.



Really, that's the only time I've seen them. I have no idea where they are or what they're for, but they exist.

Both the buses and the trucks show some of the finer parts of Fayette County. You know, things the average citizen doesn't care about, like Fallingwater and Fort Necessity. What they really need on those is that nice Super Bowel sign from the fair I posted before.

There's a New Gynecologist in Town!

That's right, ladies. Uniontown Hospital has opened a new gynecologist in town, right in the same shopping plaza as Target.

This means that plaza now holds not just our only Target, but also our only PetSmart, one of our countless Dollar Generals, a Shoe Carnival, Dots, and a hair salon that I think is a Supercuts, but I could be wrong. I'm only ever on the Target/PetSmart side. The point is, the addition of the gynecologist means the plaza is now a true one stop shop. You can accomplish everything there now! And is there a better place for it? I mean, we have a few different plazas consisting entirely of medical buildings, and we wouldn't want to put a gynecologist there. Nope. It's just so nice next to the Supercuts.

What makes it even nicer is the pictures of the doctors in the windows. Really big pictures. They also have lovely advertising - big billboards along New Salem Road near the mall with the doctors smiling and holding babies and lines like, "The doctor is ready to see you now." I promise pictures in the near future.

But wait, it gets better. The office is operated by Uniontown Hospital, a hospital with the greatest of reputations. My roommate, for example, has severe migraines and ended up there once and the hospital didn't have a very common drug to treat her. And then there are the malpractice lawsuits, like this one for wrongful death. Or the malpractice suit after a 20-year-old's legs were unnecessarily amputated. Or the malpractice suit after the hospital's lab failed to report the results of a blood test to a woman's doctor, resulting in a hysterectomy that probably could've been prevented. Granted, it's not all bad - my great-grandma, grandma, and mom have all come out of the hospital better than they were going in rather than worse, but we also have a relative working there to check in and know from experience at this point who the best doctors are.

So, women of the Nam, go ahead. After all, the doctor is ready to see you now. When you're done shopping and getting your hair done, of course.

Good News for Shoes

So, we have a new shoe repair business in town.

Not very interesting, right? It is if you've drunkenly ruined a pretty pair of shoes you didn't want to throw away. And I don't mean by throwing up on them. I mean completely decimating them.

I needed such a business in July, when my mom dug out these pale pink heels she'd had probably as long as I've been alive that perfectly matched a dress I was wearing to my cousin's Barbie-themed birthday party. The shoes were so old that I basically destroyed the heels either on the deck, in the grass, or on the walk across the street to the always lovely Sherwood's bar. The little part on the bottom of the heel not only came off on both shoes, but somehow whatever they were made of started to peel up off of the already broken heels. I was drunk, which of course means I didn't notice until I left the next morning.

My mom told me to throw them away. I said, "Maybe there's someone in town that still fixes shoes." But she insisted. They were pretty shoes, too, and I could've gotten a lot of use out of them, themed parties aside. But no, they were thrown away. If I'd been a bit more stubborn, I could be spending the upcoming weekend having them fixed.

So, people of the Nam, if you ever destroy your shoes - drunk or otherwise - you have a place that will repair them now. Even though I have a feeling that those of us in Fayette County who care enough to go so far as to have a pair of shoes repaired are a minority.