Fayette County Thanksgiving Summarized in One Picture

Write-In Votes

I was one bullet point into a county crime roundup when I found this glorious gem.

Fayette County was naturally split this election. Like I said before, it was a democratic county until a black man ran. What's a redneck to do when you don't like either guy, though? Write in your own names. Apparently, this wasn't really a common thing, but enough people did it for it to be newsworthy. And I'm thrilled because SERIOUSLY.

Fayette County's picks for president? The most random people ever. Roseanne. Reject Republicans Herman Cain, Ron Paul, and Rick Santorum. Donald Trump. Somewhat surprisingly, Hillary Clinton. Leon Panetta. Jesse Ventura (it's probably his conspiracy-theory show).

But among the most popular? Clint Eastwood. Clint Eastwood seems like a perfect match for the Nam. In fact, had my dad known about this before the election, I'm pretty sure he would've voted for Eastwood, too.

Bonus: website user Truthiness, who seems to be self-appointed HeraldStandard.com police based on previous sightings of his/her comments, calls out a word-usage error. This is why we can't have nice things--no one wins.

Speaking of the election, Fayette County voting was CRAZY. By most accounts, polling places, mostly in the evening, were ridiculously packed. My dad waited for 45 minutes (and didn't even vote for Clint Eastwood!), my mom and I waited together for about an hour, and plenty of people said they wouldn't have bothered if they had known the lines were so long. At least we had the art of Marshall School's children to keep us entertained, including lists of what they're thankful for. One was so good and so stereotypically Nam I had to take a picture. Someone harass me until I remember to post it.

Meanwhile, I had a man decked out in camo behind me standing way too close, and someone else passed by and smelled terribly of alcohol.

Toys for Tots Drop-Off Locations

It's Christmas (almost)! I know I already asked you to give some money yesterday, but I'm not asking for money on behalf of others this time...I'm asking for toys. Not even asking, really--just letting you know that HeraldStandard.com has a full list of Toys for Tots drop-off locations in the county. Make Christmas awesome for kids who need it!

Help an Ex-Pat!

So, Anne is a really cool former resident, Geibel grad, etc. who's raising money for the United Way of Greater St. Louis, and she has two days to raise just under $200 to meet her goal of $1,000. So, help her out!

You're probably burned out from Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday, but why not do something good? If you spend $5--or more or less--on a good thing, the universe will return it to you.

WTAE Features "Uniontown: Then & Now"

WTAE recently aired a segment called "Uniontown: Then & Now."

It's weird seeing Fayette County featured positively, especially when the segment opens with "We often think of Uniontown as the city just minutes from a swanky resort." NO ONE THINKS THAT. In fact, I was expecting that sentence to end with references to drugs, domestic violence, and the world's most bizarre crimes because that's why we're usually talked about. So props, WTAE, for making us sound so cool and resisting the urge to mock us.

The segment is good, though, mentioning the county's rich history (including George Marshall and the invention of the Big Mac) and former glory days of totally rich coal dudes and featuring some neat local businesses. Sorry to say, Titlow, but you're right across the street from Meloni's and I can't resist them. But good news, Newbauer's! You have the best, prettiest flowers ever.

The segment also features some of our surprisingly pretty architecture and our Lord and Savior Joe Hardy.

But it's interesting to note that while Joe Hardy is beefing up Uniontown, Connellsville, just minutes away with a history just as rich, is literally falling apart. I'm sure that's why some Fayettenamese are so skeptical of Hardy and reluctant to praise him for helping Uniontown.

Enter Fr. Bob.

Preach it, Fr. Bob!

Support Local Writers!

My awesome boyfriend recently had a short horror story published in October's issue of Siren's Call. So, aside from bragging, now's a good time to remind you guys of a few of the many writers we have of all ages, genres, and times.

• Rob Hensley and his young adult/science fiction/romance novella, Leo's Love Story.
• Erica Ritenour and her chapbook, March, which I loved.
• John Dickson Carr, who was once kind of a big deal.
• Tamora Pierce, who writes young-adult fantasy.

And let's not forget the Nam's appearances throughout other literature:

• American Rust, which is set mostly in the Nam (and does feature a pretty accurate description of Brownsville)
• Dave Newman's Please Don't Shoot Anyone, which references Pechins.

County to Get More CYS Staff

Yep. Because of an increased case load, the county commissioners are looking at increasing CYS staff.

Now, on the one hand, adding staff to handle cases is a good thing and may help to prevent cases from being overlooked and get others resolved more quickly. How many times has a large case load been blamed for extreme cases of neglect, abuse, and even death?

On the other hand, it's pretty sad and terrible that the case load is so bad they need to hire more staff. Get you shit together, Fayette County.

And that's all I have to say about that.

The Nam on Facebook: How We All Should Be

One of the many reasons Rob keeps winning at being at Fayettenam ex-pat.

Random

• If anyone's been interested in Zumba, my former dance teacher has a class Mondays and Wednesdays. Tonight's is 7-8.
• Connellsville had their Thanksgiving festival of choirs last night, and it sounds like it went pretty well.
• Local high schools are all announcing their spring musicals. The lineup so far is Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (I think at Connellsville), The Wizard of Oz at Laurel Highlands, and Les Miserables at Geibel. Every Geibel alumnus I know is nervous and doubtful, but we'll see. Seems Mr. Bell keeps trying to outdo himself. Fortunately, all his attempts the past few years were pretty solid. Cats haters, you get out of here!
• My cousin is still modeling wigs for John Rutter.
• Potter's bartenders forget how to make mojitos, so the result is a very strong, very minty but nice concoction. They made their shots strong, too. Then again, they may have known it was my brother's 21st birthday.
• Comics fans, remember to check out Cross Worlds Nexus, which is updated weekly. 
• Also remember to check out Colebrook Chocolate.
• If you're starting your Christmas shopping and your favorite Nam historian needs to beef up his or her book collection, look to Marci McGuiness.
• The SPCA has pictures up of all the animals they have up for adoption. Cats and kittens are $20, puppies up to a year old are $125, and dogs are $50. I'm fascinated by the high price of puppies, especially considering my volunteering experience at Fayette Friends taught me people want puppies. On that note...adopt from shelters. Don't buy from breeders or pet stores. So many animals need good homes. When you do adopt, keep in mind adult animals needs homes, too, & are just as lovable as the babies. Some of those animals may have been in that shelter longer than they deserve.
• Missing cat alert!

The Nam on Facebook: Dune Buggy

It's really is a nice day, so brace yourselves for debauchery, guys.

Mahoney Hosting Hurricane Relief Drive

I don't like Mahoney, but I do like this.

He's hosting a hurricane-relief drive at the Uniontown Mall next week. In fact, he's hoping to fill a trailer full of stuff, so help him out with that!

You can drop off items in the Sears parking lot Nov. 16-18 from noon to 6:00 p.m., plus from 9-6 on the 17.

They say they especially need coats, boots, blankets, pillows, cleaning products (including garbage bags and tons of other cleaning products), hygiene products, and non-perishable food. Think canned goods, crackers, trail mixes, bottled beverages, stuff like that.

Keep in mind some people are still without power from the storm. They need help. Get on it. Even just one item helps!

County Crime Round-Up

• This deals with an old one, but I missed it the first time around. It involves a man in Coal Center on a roof with a rifle. Related: I once had a dream a sniper was wreaking havoc on Uniontown.
• We also have another old one involving a police chase.
• A man driving drunk hit and killed an bicyclist, and a different drunk man killed one person and injured another. Stop driving drunk, dudes!
• A man claims in a lawsuit he was laid off after reporting his employer for fraud. Either way, props to him for reporting wrongdoing.
• A man wants released early from his prison sentence for involuntary manslaughter. I know it's involuntary, but still, these things make me nervous.
• A woman who won $100,000 in a lawsuit against Albert Gallatin wants an appeals court to reverse a decision made by a judge granting a new trial.
• Another old one: a man was charged after shooting 10 rounds at another man outside a bar.
• A former school-bus driver was sentenced for inappropriately touching a mentally challenged 16-year-old.
• A man was sentenced for raping a girl on a campground trail.
• Another man was sentenced for sexually assaulting a teenager last year.
• A woman is facing drug charges after she was arrested after her house caught on fire.

Hines Ward at Penn State Fayette

Hey, Steeler Nation! Hines Ward is paying the legendary Nam a visit. 

He'll be their featured speaker on November 13 at 7 p.m.

You'll need tickets to go, but they're free and available on a first-come, first-served basis. Judging by the huge banner on the outskirts of campus, I'd say there's probably still some available.

Tickets will be distributed in the Cultural Center of the Williams Building from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. and 4 to 6 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 15, and Tuesday, Oct. 16. Two tickets per adult will be issued on a first-come, first-served basis.

How does Fayette campus get cool people to come? Kate Gosselin was out here last year. Is it pity?

The Nam on Facebook: Small-Town Problems from the Vault

Apparently, I took a screenshot of this from my phone ages ago and forgot about it until I imported my pictures to admire Roger Waters.

Only in a small town is it a huge problem when a church photo doesn't make the paper. I do have to wonder, though, what the photo's significance is. Also, I will post ALL OF THE PHOTOS.

HeraldStandard.com has been criticized plenty of times before for showing bias, which is definitely a problem. That said, on the grand scale of subjects to show bias towards, church photos is at the bottom.

My favorite part is capitalizing half of one word. Twice.