We're gonna be on "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding"

The only gypsies I knew of in this area are the people that my relatives call "gypsies" when they basically mean "white trash," but apparently, it's at least enough of a thing to catch TLC's attention because they were in Farmington filming a wedding for "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding." And more importantly, a fight broke out at the wedding, so basically we're about to be a national joke, y'all!

State police in Uniontown said Bryan Matthew Frost, 21, of Cardale was cited with disorderly conduct following an incident at around 8 p.m. at the Stone House Restaurant on National Pike in Farmington.

No, how dare they taint the delicious Stone House with their melodrama and likely attention-seeking antics to get their 15 minutes of fame!

No, seriously, the details--albeit few in number--sound suspiciously like someone taking advantage of a reality show being filmed at his wedding.

Troopers allege Frost began throwing glass cups at a wall in the restaurant and tried to provoke a fight.

I wish the young gypsy couple many years of wedded bliss.

We're also well on our way to realizing my dream of getting us on all Discovery networks.