Every year, the fair brings out some princesses on Facebook who post statuses about how the fair is gross and full of rednecks and terrible people. They will absolutely not be attending, thank you very much. While all of those things about the fair are basically true, no one is actually above the fair. No one is actually above Fayette County, either, even though every person in this county could do better. So, princesses, here's what you missed out on.
- The greatest people-watching of your life. I saw a man with an epic braid and massive, shiny silver belt buckle and a man with a corn on the cob hat and matching shirt (picture to come). Would've been better if he'd drawn on a smiley face and "DUDA'S." One of my favorite sights from years past was the girl in booty shorts, a cutoff shirt, and the highest wedge lace-up heels I have ever seen. Kudos to you, chick, for braving the fair in heels.
- Awesome food. I may have been devastated when my mom told me she couldn't find haluski, but I didn't accept that and looked at every stand's menu. I quickly found it (the Methodist church has it). I was also so hungry that I also immediately ordered a lemonade and fried dough from St. Aloysius. Then I had to stop ordering food because I ran out of cash, free hands, and people to help me carry it.
- Fair lemonade is the best lemonade EVER.*
- The Hubcaps draw huge crowds. They're also really good.
- That said, the only song in an hour-long set that got Fayette County off its feet was "God Bless the USA." They also swayed with their arms in the air, and one guy threw the "rock on" symbol. I understand and appreciate patriotism, but in a set full of oldies classics and fantastic impersonations of music icons, "God Bless the USA" is the ONLY SONG that gets more than some applause? And throwing the devil horns should be reserved for rock songs.
- My boyfriend's sister had multiple pieces place in the youth art contest, so check that out. Also check out all the nifty wood carvings because they're awesome.
*Rivaled only by Kennywood lemonade, which is probably the exact same thing.