The Nam on Facebook: Catholic School Problems

Time can't heal all wounds--with a single status, my good friend Leah took us all back to a very dark time in our lives.

Those of you who went to public school--which is most of you, especially considering I can still name most of my classmates--can sit back and enjoy. There's more to Catholic school than you guys saying, "Are you guys Amish or something?" when you passed us in our uniforms. Speaking of uniforms, there's a reason why I don't know of many former classmates who like to wear plaid, navy, or green.

The Nam on Facebook: Beaches

That detail makes all the difference. If you're going to try to lure me up to Erie to live with you by telling me it has a beach, it better be a legit beach and not Connellsville beach. Unless we're talking for pure rafting purposes, in which case I'll go and swim in water that's probably a biohazard. YOLO.

Super Bowl, You Say?

I will post this every year near the Super Bowl. I don't care. It's the best ever. 

Never forget.

Vintage Nam: The Yough Is Really Pretty (Sometimes)

Courtesy the Fayette County Historical Society

First of all, no, I'm not dead. I've been having technical difficulties. When they resolve, I have glorious screenshots for you that include deer and Denny's, plus me blogging about talking about my blog. Like a blog within a blog. Blogception. I might even remember to talk about Pechin's Firehouse.

In the meantime, enjoy this old picture from a pretty lady on the Yough, and check out the Historical Society's Facebook page for more pictures of our glory days.

But do you know what happened the last time I took pictures on the Yough?

The River King

No one sits pretty like that, either. They jump off the rocks, splash my Bud Murphy's pizza, and smoke weed with their babies. And toss you beers from the docks as birthday gifts. And trade alcoholic beverages (probably the weed, too).

The Nam on Facebook: The Constitution

Dude's got a point.

Also, is this still a thing in Connellsville? Does everyone still have those plastic lawn-sign 10 commandments in their yards? Were they ditched in favor of Christmas decorations or buried in snow? Have we already moved on?

The "poverty" and "welfare" signs were better.

Edited to protect the obviously not innocent

Random

• Plenty of Facebook pages are dedicated to locating lost pets, and every so often the Nam creeps up. These two dogs were found in Allison today. They're currently at Fayette Friends of Animals. Friendly reminder that FFOA is the county's only no-kill shelter and that when you're looking for a pet, tons of animals in shelters need homes. Just don't, like, get a puppy and decide that puppies are sooooo hard to take care of and take it back to the shelter.
• Remember that Geibel art teacher Mrs. Yankovich makes cute beaded jewelry and sells it on Etsy.
• Speaking of artsy Geibel people and their business ventures, if you're into wood burning, check out C Renne Designs.
• While I'm at it, might as well plug the magazine I write/edit for (obviously, I got hired because of my skill at ending sentences with prepositions). Our top 100 tracks of 2012 are up!
• Fayette County Community Action Agency has all kinds of stuff going on in March.
• The Nam's Lord and Savior Larry the Cable Guy will be performing at our very own State Theater Feb. 24! Guarantee Larry will be among his own people.

County Crime Round-Up

• There was an armed robbery at Fox's Pizza in Brownsville. Is this a Fox's Pizza that's super popular and rolling in cash? Because as robberies go, this is even worse than that tiny PNC that got robbed in New Salem. Should've robbed the drive-through beer distributor instead.
• We also had a jewelry theft. That's normal AKA boring AKA PRAISE GOD IT WAS JUST A JEWELRY THEFT.
• Oh, wait. A man raped a 12-year-old boy he was babysitting. I hate you, Fayette County. You ruin everything.
• The sheriff issued a monthly report. The most interesting numbers are 33 protection-from-abuse cases and 473 issued gun permits, which outnumbers the months total number of requests for service. Only 473? You guys are either slacking or acquiring illegal munitions supplies. Reminds me of the good ol' days when my uncle found a sawed-off shotgun near Sherwood's. Someone remind me someday to tap my relatives to compile a list of all the items they've found near Sherwood's.
• Then there was a shooting today. Hmm.
• We also have a whole list of all the recent court sentences. I'd read it, break it down, and comment, but the list is so damn long I'll never get anything else done tonight and I'll probably get depressed due to the nature of some crimes. Although a quick glance suggests most are actually DUIs.
• A man's sentence for threatening a judge was adjusted. 'Cause, you know, your best defense when on trial for rape is obviously to threaten the judge.
• We can't have a crime roundup without a forged prescription!
• A former librarian is suing, claiming discrimination due to political beliefs. In this county, that's highly likely, but I'm more interested in the part where the woman who fired her claimed to have done so for, among other things, using vulgar language among patrons. It's a good thing I didn't look into a job at the library, then, because it is physically impossible for me to talk about amazing and even terrible books without dropping an f-bomb. Oh, and the employee also "failed to properly handle a situation where a patron had left a revolver in a paper bag in the children’s room of the library." Uh, was at least registered with the sheriff?
• And breaking! A man has been charged after threatening to blow up Children & Youth Services after reporting information about an alleged child abuser but then got mad about the investigation. Must've taken lessons from that rapist who threatened a judge, because nothing says "I want to help an abused child" like saying "I'm gonna blow up the institution that helps abused children."

Random

Apparently accidentally published this when it was meant to be a draft until I could add to it. OOPS.

• Redstone Candy is selling Valentine's Day chocolates now. Meanwhile, I noticed their coconut clusters seem smaller. This is actually a good thing, as it makes them easier to eat. 
• Rosa Pizza has good pasta...but my body disagreed.
• The nice weather over the weekend must've drawn out tons of people. The mall was packed (including some Geibel alumni sightings), everyone was driving like asses, and I had a phone conversation with my brother while stuck in traffic because of an accident where I was warning him to take a different route home. He was like, "Yeah, I know, I can see the lights." Except it turns out we were talking about two different sets of flashing lights on the same tiny stretch of 40 from 119 to Sheetz. Come on, guys. Make smart decisions!
• Except the mountains weren't quite as nice. They're usually colder, sure, but I wasn't expecting that to mean Ohiopyle still had a significant amount of snow. Enter me and my boyfriend fresh from a wedding dressed pretty and springy. I had flat, canvas shoes on. We even attracted a photographer (Christine Traver, though I haven't been able to find her on Facebook yet) for being so inappropriately dressed for the weather, but she was very nice.
• O'Gillies has a new burger, the Double Homicide Burger: two patties with fried onions, grilled mushrooms, cheese, bacon, and a fried egg.
• Pechins Firehouse is great and I need to remember to review it.
• Enter to win a romantic getaway at Nemacolin!

Memes Strike Again

Every so often, someone decided to make some sort of Fayette County meme. They usually don't last--they pump out some funny (though often stereotypical) content, then disappear back into the abyss of the internet--including the seemingly short-lived Fayttenam Sucks. But we have a new one. It also covers West Virginia. And seems to have taken off thanks in part to Jeff Foxworthy('s picture). Be sure to read the comments on that one because they're full of gold to plentiful to adequately cover in this post.

It's the usual business--lots of references to drugs and teen parents, but it also spawned the gem above. It has a certain sad truth to it. As a 20-something Nam native, I know that the memories my parents have and the parents of my peers have of the county are far different from ours, as well as what we continue to experience. In fact, some of these memes predate us young whipper-snappers and reference things I didn't even know existed. And remember, we used to be quite prosperous.

But apparently--also as often happens, even on this blog--things didn't go so well. It's even been called bullying.

Their reaction to criticism.

The criticism of the criticism.

My personal favorite is a discussion in which someone got offended and said that not everyone in Fayette County is a pillhead...but then says West Virginia is full of them.

Stay classy.

No, Seriously, You Guys Don't Understand. We've Been Waiting for This Olive Garden for 15 Years

Olive Garden is still the most exciting thing everyone is talking about (even the haters). In fact, the recent Olive Garden posts are among my most popular recent posts. But this is good--it means people aren't committing the world's most bizarre crimes and it keeps us off the Kiss Morning Freak Show, except for old appearances showcased in their "Today in Freak Show History" segment.

ktd71589 @LittleJanelleS I still haven't been there and I really don't get how all these people can afford it. Lol 1/5/13 5:32 PM

Apparently, it's actually not busy around 3:00 in the afternoon.

bsheetz7 No wait at olive garden. Suck it @LittleJanelleS 1/7/13 3:13 PM

Meanwhile, the novelty of TJ Maxx has worn off, and I guarantee indifference to Michael's when it opens.

P.S.: Like the Facebook page.

Olive Garden Liveblog

Newest updates at the top.

6:11: BOOZE!

5:50: WE HAVE BEEN SEATED! That wait wasn't an hour...

5:43: most newcomers just turn around and leave. Overheard: "I don't want to go to Red Lobster."

5:40: Only one seat open at the bar. SOMEONE CLAIM IT

5:38: overheard: "15 minutes ago, he told her an hour and a half. How the hell does that happen?" I guess the wait times are fluctuating. Expecting imminent mass exodus to Eat N Park or Red Lobster

5:34: haven't been packed in this tight since Noah's Ark elevator at Kennywood over the summer. May starve to death soon.

5:32: waiting area clear enough to graduate to there from the front door. Wait upgraded to two hours.

5:28: have been here about 20 minutes. Sent boyfriend to get table while I hunted for parking space. Hour wait. People constantly walking in and out. Last man to enter called it "fucking ridiculous."

Random

• A local kid donated 10 inches of hair over the summer to Locks of Love, an organization which makes wigs for kids with cancer. Awesome! I donated my hair to Locks of Love I believe two or three times by now. Ain't nobody puttin' me in no newspaper, though.
• New Year's brought the annual Polar Bear plunge into the Mighty Yough. Participants were asked to take food to be donated to St. Vincent de Paul and included lots of people I know. Even Fr. Bob did it. Now, turn this into a mid-July event or, like, a plunge in a hot tub and I'm all in.
• A former Herald-Standard editor has moved on to be president of a new foundation in Florida for journalism training and international media studies. Pretty cool. And they said journalism was dying!
• The county's Emergency Management Agency Facebook page is always a good resource for updates on traffic, weather, road conditions, etc. Just don't call 911 to report road conditions. Oh, and don't message them with questions or anything, either, because they don't actually monitor those things. So, great job on your social-media presence and recognizing its usefulness, guys!

The Nam on Facebook: Willy Wonka

Olive Garden Is Open, But Good Luck Getting a Table

First off, I was hoping to do a sort of 2012 best-of where I listed the blog's most popular posts of 2012, but (as far as I know) I can't track that for the year--it jumps from monthly statistics to all-time. Now, most of those are posts from 2011 ranging from high-profile news to ridiculous personal anecdotes, but on straggler from 2012 made the list. In fact, it's the most popular post to date, and it's about Connellsville's epic fail of a telephone pole. Congrats, Connellsville!

Meanwhile, our greatest dreams have come true--Olive Garden is open! It opened earlier this month, and apparently everyone is thrilled, because the lot's always packed and I have yet to hear from someone who had to wait less than about 45 minutes, including just for takeout.