Monday, December 29, 2014

The Nam on Twitter: The Ghost of Sherwood's Past

And then they played "Wagon Wheel," and the only thing missing was a fight, an old man buying me and my fellow 20-somethings dollar beers from the cooler under the bar, and the flaming bar when someone sang "Ring of Fire" at karaoke.

Monday, December 22, 2014

We're gonna be on "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding"

The only gypsies I knew of in this area are the people that my relatives call "gypsies" when they basically mean "white trash," but apparently, it's at least enough of a thing to catch TLC's attention because they were in Farmington filming a wedding for "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding." And more importantly, a fight broke out at the wedding, so basically we're about to be a national joke, y'all!
State police in Uniontown said Bryan Matthew Frost, 21, of Cardale was cited with disorderly conduct following an incident at around 8 p.m. at the Stone House Restaurant on National Pike in Farmington.
No, how dare they taint the delicious Stone House with their melodrama and likely attention-seeking antics to get their 15 minutes of fame!

No, seriously, the details--albeit few in number--sound suspiciously like someone taking advantage of a reality show being filmed at his wedding.
Troopers allege Frost began throwing glass cups at a wall in the restaurant and tried to provoke a fight.
I wish the young gypsy couple many years of wedded bliss.

We're also well on our way to realizing my dream of getting us on all Discovery networks.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Laurel Mall movie theater closed

So, Carmike Cinema IV is no more--and so far, this news has only been spread by word of mouth.

Ex-pat blogger HGB has compiled many memories, including some of my own, so head on over to The Steel Trap and check that out.

Maybe it's best eulogized by this poetic Yelp review:
Survives by default. 
The worst projection and sound. 
No options in town.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Four men attempt escape from prison

Four men--and possibly a fifth--tried to escape from the prison last week.
Police said the suspects attempted to pry open a steel door with a mop handle.  
They were thwarted when the wooden handle broke, police said. 
The men could be seen on surveillance video pushing on the door in an effort to open it, police said. 
The men planned to try again the next day, police said.
"Police said" doesn't sound like words anymore, but this is great.

Anyone know if Ambrosini has used this to try to convince everyone we need a new prison...or if he orchestrated this to try to convince everyone we need a new prison?

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Connellsville's Aaron's building gets sexy new makeover

You know how I go on and on about Connersville literally falling apart and people in power don't do much and the people with good ideas who want to make a difference are too jaded with local politics to try? The Aaron's building proved me wrong, y'all.

I don't know how many of you remember what Aaron's used to look like, but this is what it looks like now.

HOLY SHIT. Photo by Christine Pocratksy.

It's a tad unclear as to exactly what the building is going to be used for, but its Facebook page is listed as an event venue, meeting room, and apartments/condos. Honestly, any business in downtown Connellsville could be a great thing for the economy, especially when it looks that good.

The building was saved from demolition last year when it was bought for $1 by Terry Shallenberger. And lest you think the city got a crappy deal selling a building for a dollar, it actually saved about $200,000 that would've been spent to demolish it.

Everyone wins here. Progress is progress.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Man poses as military, solidifies reputation as creep and terrible human

Very late on this one because I just plain forgot to post after my brother sent it to me, but happy belated Veterans Day, y'all!

23-year-old Jonathan Michael Campbell of Uniontown got caught posing as military veteran...and trying to use his "status" to get into a middle school. Because apparently, being disrespectful wasn't good enough for him and he had to go and make it creepy, too.

Seriously, posing as a veteran for any reason--be it attention or in an attempt to get discounts or whatever other misguided reason these fools have for doing it--is downright disrespectful and wrong no matter what, to put it quite mildly, but my biggest concern here is what his plans were and why he wanted in there. I really feel that if not for smart, vigilant school employees and the cops, we would've been hearing about a kid getting abducted instead. Fortunately, it didn't come to that.

He went to Laurel Highlands, unannounced and unscheduled--which, duh, is a red flag to anyone. Geibel grads, remember how they always told us never to open the door for anyone, even if we knew them? This is why.

He claimed to be an Army veteran who wanted to talk to the kids about Veterans Day--again, unannounced and unscheduled. When I was in school, you know what they did when they wanted someone to talk about the military or veterans? They asked a military parent. Or teachers just talked about my dad like 1,000 times at assemblies until no one cared anymore.
“His appearance, behavior, and showing up unscheduled shed doubt on his claim to be who and what he claimed to be,” Wallace said. 
Man, what factor in an impostor's appearance could possibly tip off civilians that he wasn't who he said he was?
Campbell claimed to be from the Army but was wearing an Air Force uniform, police said. 
Yeah, that'll do it. So, in addition to being disrespectful and creepy, he's also an idiot. He was then escorted off the property and the authorities were alerted, leading to him being charged with impersonating a public servant and disorderly conduct. Oh, and he was on his way to another school when they caught him. Creepy. He said he "wanted to feel important," and while I'm sure this is a factor--especially considering he's also pretended to work at hospitals--his criminal background, which includes domestic violence and the sexual assault of a 10-year-old when he was a pre-teen himself, concerns me.

Props to Guardians of Valor for drawing attention to this story and posting this information on Campbell.

While I'm glad they were able to charge him with two crimes, I do feel something stronger needs to be put in place for those impersonating the military--Obama signed the Stolen Valor Act into law last year, which makes it a crime to lie about having received military medals or decorations, but we need to punish those who pretend to be in the military at all. As Guardians of Valor put it, people tend to inherently trust those in uniform, especially the military, which also comes with an added degree of respect. If you're going to abuse the public's trust, you deserve to be held accountable.

And as always, if something seems off, trust your instincts, research what you can, and notify the proper authorities.