I was going to do a nice post that proves my bio correct. You know, the idea that you can take the girl out of the Nam but you can't take the Nam out of the girl. You see, when you get a bunch of Fayettenamese at Headkeeper's in Greensburg on a Saturday night, drinking beer that doesn't cost a dollar or wasn't bought for you by a creepy old man older than your parents, things get a little weird. You may find yourself sitting between two men arguing about snuff brands.
Instead, when I decided to check the blog stats (12,000 views is ridiculous!), I saw a very interesting search term--"where to hide from cops at parties."
First of all, I have never talked about that. I also have no experience in hiding from cops at parties. The closest call I ever had was the first time some friends and I had an empty house for a weekend, broke out some booze, and heard one of my friend's relatives coming in early in the morning while we were still asleep and had cups and bottles strewn all over the kitchen table. What do you do when you have 30 seconds to hide the evidence of a binge?
You throw a blanket over the table.
This was ever questioned. Said relative never questioned the mysteriously bottle-shaped parts of the blanket.
Unfortunately, all photographic evidence of this has been removed from Facebook.
However, I have friends who had much closer calls than that. At the same house.
The story goes that the cops were called twice to a graduation party, by neighbors that were related to the party hosts. They were probably just jealous. While the party raged on outside, some underage drinkers hid inside and pretended to sleep when the cop went inside.
A few others decide to break off and run into the woods. I believe someone was either in barefoot or in flip-flops, or maybe started in flip-flops and ditched them. Either way, they ran into the woods. Where the cop decided to shine his flashlight and just miss one of them.
So, where can you hide from cops at a party? In the woods! But at your own risk.