Saturday, October 12, 2013

Our New Claim to Fame: Bear Poaching

A Smithfield man just might be the first person in Pennsylvania history to be convicted be a jury of poaching a black bear. Great job!
“As far as we know, this is the first poaching case ever to go to jury trial,” said Travis Lau, a spokesman for the Pennsylvania Game Commission.
It's the first time the DA has seen a poaching case even go to trial, because apparently, most hunters plead guilty.
“Most hunters are so embarrassed by the fact they illegally harvested big game, they simply don't go to trial,” Grimm said.
The man shot the bear when it wandered into his garden, unlike my grandfather, who I'm told used to roll visiting bears apples. Then another man called the game commission after the poacher kept bragging and showing off picture of the dead bear on his phone. Because pics or it didn't happen.

But wait, there's more! Meaning this is my new favorite Fayette County news story of 2013.
“Immediately after beginning my search of Swaney's backyard, I located two marijuana plants in a plastic container, as well as hair and paws from a black bear,” Bonin wrote in the complaint. “At that time, Swaney confessed to killing a black bear ... and also to growing the marijuana.”
Bonin found the bear's head in a stream near Swaney's house, according to court records. The bear carcass was recovered from a friend's freezer.
This dude just sounds like a bear serial killer. Bears of the Nam, beware!

He says he shot it because it was threatening kids getting off a school bus, but no one else complained. The man also tried to say the bear had an old arrow wound and the meat was no good, yet he still cut it up and put it in his freezer. Meaning either he was wrong or I'm right and he's a serial killer.

The man will be sentenced Wednesday morning. The marijuana charges were dropped as part of a plea offer, which included fines and this serial killer to lose his hunting license for five years. Now, call me crazy, but I can't see taking a hunting license away from a man who illegally shot a bear as a very effective punishment, though for some around here, it's probably worse than jail time.

Moment of silence for all the dead bears out there, including Rupert, who resides in my cousins' house.

Also, shout-out to my mom, who--spoiler alert--was offended by the movie Brave after I suggested she watch it.


  1. this how serial killers get started. I bet he tortured bunnies as a child

  2. How 'bout the other nut last week who made tv and print news after he accidentally "Hit" a bear with his car, and when he was trying to shove the dead bear in his trunk, police came! Idiot told H.S. he wanted to stuff the bear. He is on tv news saying he wanted to "mount the bears head"....hum....more naminators!

    1. Heard about that, too! He made the Kiss Morning Freak Show.