Not Even the Ducks Are Safe

First of all, we can't discuss this article in depth because apparently now you have to pay to read anything more than a few sentences on any HeraldStandard.com article. Which I get from a business standpoint because hey, before the internet was a thing, paying for the paper was pretty much how you got the news. That said, this is the internet--the times, they are a-changin'--and I'm pretty sure there are better ways to make a newspaper profitable than charging $10 a month to read it online. Also, I don't want to pay $10 a month to read a few articles.

So anyway, about these ducks. Now, we all know that the Nam has a bit of a reputation for abusing...well, almost any living thing. But seriously, how often do we really hear about people actually going after wild animals like ducks in a park?

If you're a Geibel student, the answer to that is once--when the class of 2008 were freshmen, went on their retreat, and threw rocks at ducks. According to legend, they also toppled--or tried to topple--a small tree and did the wave after mass. Friendly reminder that I graduated in the class of 2007 and everyone loved us.

But I digress. Here's the one quote I have access to without paying $10:

Marybeth Homistek asked borough council to do something about people abusing ducks at the Fairchance Community Park. Homistek said people throw rocks, harm and harass the ducks at the pond by the Sheldon Avenue playground.

Really, guys? What joy can you possibly be getting out of harassing ducks? Also, are we sure by "people" they don't mean "Geibel class of 2008"?

Just throw bread instead, like normal, non-sociopathic people.