Sunday, February 19, 2012

Goldmines

Let's talk about the flea market at the Laurel Mall, which is still pretending to be a mall.

Sure, it has stores, but they're all thrift stores that smell like dust and sell the most random assortment of items known to man. I mean, where else can you find old bottles of Coke, antique china, Reagan paper dolls, vinyl records, incense, and groceries?

Today's haul was $25 worth of records, most priced at $1 each. You do the math. Despite the aforementioned variety, we didn't purchase anything crazy. But it's there for the taking. The groceries might be questionable--I have no idea how old they are--but the produce looked pretty good. I just have a mental issue with buying produce at the Laurel Mall flea market.

I don't have an issue with the hippie booth, though. Among lovely tie-dyed clothes, tapestries, and the only guidebook a human needs, they also sell lots of nice hats, scarves, incense, and incense burners. I stocked up on incense there once, along with a bottle incense burner. My dad took one look at it and said, "That's a bong." Not so.

I also don't have an issue with anyone selling records, cassettes, or CDs. If you have the patience to dig through boxes and sneeze a lot and need to wash the dust off your hands, you'll find true treasures. My friend got a Jerry Lee Lewis record today. I had no cash on me. This might be the worst day of my life. Previous finds include the life stories of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln and My Father's Mustache, "the gayest music of the '90s."

The greatest flea-market find of all, though, was this.


That would be a leather couch and a leash love seat behind it. The attractive dog creeping in the corner is Lucy.

The total was $50. For both of those items. And they only had a little bit of sun damage. The clerk told us if we just got some shoe polish for them, they'd look good. And so, the same friend with the massive record haul earlier today went home, got her pickup truck, and the two of us along with my cousin hauled these couches back to shine them up real good.


I did ride on the couch in that back of that truck very briefly down her very long driveway. It was glorious.


Two cushions. The one on the left was not yet treated with our blood, sweat, and tears. The one on the right was. It's not perfect, but it was going in a college apartment and still looks way better than the other. Plus I spent most of last night on this couch and it's incredibly comfortable and still looks awesome.

The three of us then changed into our finest wife beaters (again), plaid, and flannel for annual White Trash Night.

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