Friday, March 25, 2011

Farm Animals Found in Home

Fayette County, please stop doing ridiculous things for about 24 hours. I'm falling behind.

A whole bunch of farm animals were found in a Fayette County home the other day.

The SPCA searched the home after it got reports of livestock being raised there. Obviously, there's a little more going on here than just raising livestock.

How about a breakdown?
  • 15 dogs
  • 28 chickens
  • 1 goat, which had been previously joined by two others that were recently sold and was probably lonely
  • Some rabbits
  • Unclear number of sugar gliders

What are sugar gliders, you ask? Is this a common Fayettenam animal, like venison is a common meal? No, unfortunately. If the Nam does have any unique creatures, they're Youghiogheny River mutations from the tires and beer bottles (the YoughNess Monster). No, sugar gliders are from Australia.

Okay, I totally support the owning of sugar gliders. Those things are adorable. I also support the owning of goats because they're pretty cool, too. I am truly a Fayettenam girl.

Now, when I went to Google sugar gliders, the second Google recommendation was "sugar gliders for sale in PA." Not far behind was "sugar gliders for sale in Pittsburgh PA." Do we have some sugar glider black market? At least I know where I can get one.

And why get rid of two of the goats? Run out of room because of all the chickens and sugar gliders?

In case you were wondering, live poultry and livestock in a home violates state laws.

The good news is almost all of the animals were in good health, which is rare for Fayette County animal stories. They're usually malnourished and horribly abused, and they get on the news and need homes and I turn into a child, look at my mom, and say, "Aww, Mom, can we take one?" and then all surrounding counties insult us and that's how I know that all is as it should be.

The thing is, plenty of people around here have farm animals. Shocking. Just not in such impressive numbers, and not sugar gliders. Oh, yeah, and not inside. I have seen them in interesting locations, though, including horses along 119 heading towards Connellsville, sheep along 119 by the drive-in, and chickens in the yard of this house along a road near mine.

The Morning Freak Show has dubbed it "the Fayette County basement of FUN." I have to agree. Once again, I am truly a Fayettenam girl. Mikey also pointed out that if things like this wouldn't happen, we wouldn't make said Freak Show, but I'm pretty sure Fayette County shenanigans will never stop. Besides, when it's called "The Morning Freak Show," don't we kind of belong there?

For further reading on this nonsense, check out WPXI's coverage and a very funny take from That's Church.


  1. Have you seen this YoughNess Monster? And does he have a relative hanging ahhht in the Red Stone Creek?

  2. He is but a theory I have. All Name bodies of water - especially if full of tires and alcohol - could very well house his relatives.

  3. I'll take one of the sugar gliders!!! Those things are squee-tastic!

  4. I believe you'll never run out of stories for this blog. Never.