- The homeless 911 prank caller has waived charges.
- One of two people wanted for a robbery in Bear Rocks has been found.
- Police are investigating a home invasion. Oh, that never happens here!
- Police are also looking into an armed robbery. That never happens, either.
- A man has plead guilty to drug delivery. That never happens, either.
- A woman with children "living in squalor" was sentenced to probation. That never happens, either.
Dear Fayette County, please grow a moral compass.