Tuesday, April 17, 2012

We Live Such Exciting Lives

While Pitt keeps getting bomb threats and my roommates and I have turned into amateur detectives, Fayette County is taking care of the world's real problems--like trash in Perryopolis not getting picked up.

Don't get me wrong, that does suck pretty hard. And it's pretty gross, like a lot of other things in this county. But really? This is the worst of our newsworthy problems?

Want to know what other exciting shit is going down? Of course you do!

  • The Mighty Yough is being sprayed for black flies. I'll probably be grateful for this come rafting season, but while they're at it, can they get rid of the pop cans, beer bottles, tires, shopping carts, and other random items floating around down there? I mean, I gaze into that muck and try to figure out exactly what I'm gazing at most of the time. And let's not forget we found a boat once.
  • The county population fluctuates. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm gonna say that is because at one time, Fayette County actually didn't suck. It had pretty buildings, industry, a good economy, and rich people to prove it. The the coal and steel industries started sucking, so the whole county started sucking, and now Connellsville's literally falling apart and most of my friends have either already left (myself included) or are planning to in the near future.
  • Connellsville High School is renovating. Meanwhile, Geibel just got new windows that I'm told should've been replaced like 20 years ago, but it's a start. Baby steps! One day there will be air conditioning and a heater that's turned on before November. Just kidding! Dream on, kids.
We'll have to do a crime round-up soon. Lots of people are getting hit by cars and killing people and setting stuff on fire.

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