Sunday, April 22, 2012

STOP THE PRESSES

Big news, you guys. A kid had a nosebleed after a bus accident!

Why is this news? I mean, obviously the bus accident itself should be reported on. By the way, three cars were involved after the bus rear-ended a car, which got pushed into the car in front of it. If I was that middle car, I'd be especially furious even though all three vehicles only had minor damage and no charges were filed, which is good, but doesn't mean I'm going to ever trust bus drivers. I rode enough buses. I know how they are.

Injuries are also important, but a nosebleed? Really? And that nosebleed is so epic that it's the headline? Are people scanning their papers saying, "Hmm, I wonder if any kids had nosebleeds today." Some poor soul hit the jackpot then.

I'd be more impressed by nosebleed stories involving kids like me who had the amazing ability to have a nosebleed at random. I don't remember much about my Sea World vacation when I was four, but spending an evening with ice packs on my neck stands out.

There aren't any ninjas or mad scientists to talk about?

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