- Some Uniontown kids won $4,000 for the district on a quiz show. First of all, awesome! Second, that district is gonna really need that money. Maybe we should ship off all the kids around here to quiz shows and pull a Brady Bunch and manage to win the exact amount of money needed to help. That's probably a very high number, though. Especially since Uniontown just furloughed four teachers and Albert Gallatin furloughed 16. Remember to thank Corbett for caring about jobs and education next time you see him.
- Someone stole money from a church, which is probably an automatic ticket to hell. He also stole a jersey that had sentimental value for the pastor. This sounds personal.
- Laurel Highlands is considering mandatory training for coaches to identify concussions. I'm all for this. We all know what happened to Sidney Crosby's brain pan after a concussion, and no, he's not a sissy. The only thing would be making sure the coaches and basically everyone takes the training seriously and doesn't disregard concussions after they've been identified. Brains are more important than sports.
- HeraldStandard.com is getting with the times and has launched a mobile site!
- A chick from Brownsville is heading for the opera. She went to my high school for a hot minute.
- Two men went around stealing emblems off of cars. This reminds me of the time everyone kept stealing those coppers wires that made my internet disappear until the wires could be replaced...with new wires...that were then stolen.
- A Georges Township man is missing. Please look and notify police if you see him.
- A man choked a teen. Good job. We also had another shooting in Uniontown, a robbery, threats to a judge, and the most serious charges were withdrawn against a man who tried to run over a bicyclist. Yeah, let's just send the message that running people over is no big deal. As if people don't already think it's not big deal and try it all the time. Similarly, the most serious charge was dropped against a man who got into a fight with police.
- There's more! A man convicted of homicide was found with a stolen gun and there was a road-rage shooting. Dude should try driving 376 every day. Some days, I want to stay in bed just thinking about driving to work.
That was exhausting.